There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need to calm my uterus...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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