Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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