I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize