You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
