I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
