Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
