enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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