We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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