It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
