Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
