that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
