sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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