we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
