Where is the hickey?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
