Define "chronic" masturbator.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
