Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
