I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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