What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Small penises have feelings too.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
