Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
