i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
