you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
