why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
