I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
