The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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