First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
