Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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