she woke up with a sticky ear
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
