I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
