I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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