well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
