There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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