Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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