So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We just shotgunned beers for America
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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