Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
