cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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