I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
