I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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