I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just made my gag reflex go away.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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