Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
