i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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