while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
