he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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