3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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