Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pooping to opera.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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