mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
