Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
