I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
