forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
honey bunches of taint.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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