I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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