Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
