Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it's great music for shaving your balls
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
