were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
