my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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