question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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