I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize