why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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