Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
