I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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