quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
