If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
