he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
