So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
