that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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