i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why are your pants in the freezer?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
