Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
