i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Green mimosas i think yes
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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