So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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