i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
