So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
