better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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