I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
