Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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