Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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