im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
