so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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