I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
