I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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